crylam

After all the responses to my request for feedback on writing a new book, you certainly deserve an answer. I did read every suggestion and and thought about every single suggestion. What did I decide? What does the future hold? I am going to write a new book, but not at the expense of the blog. The third book will be a collection of previous posts, organized into chapters of interest and importance. I will not set a deadline for this project. Work will continue as I have the time and interest. I would guess it will be ready sometime early in 2018. I will publish a Kindle e-reader version first. If the response is strong enough, I will make a paperback version available on demand. My primary focus will remain right here. The comments about the blog's immediacy and ability to build on the community we are establishing seems most exciting and important. Our world is changing quickly and the issues that affect us all really require feedback and discussion. Look...

First question, what's a passion pile? For purposes of this post, it is what I need to enjoy a hobby or interest. For example, to enjoy playing a guitar I need an instrument, music books, and a place with good light and space. A passion pile contains what I need to make the most of the time I have set aside to do something I like. Since one of the most-asked questions is "what do you do all day after retirement," I thought you might find some answers based on what I do. In one of my file drawers are materials and inspirations I need for this blog. After 7 years I can write one of these articles pretty quickly. What takes the time is deciding on a topic. As you might imagine, after nearly 1,000 posts virtually all the topics that relate to a satisfying retirement have been covered, and covered again. To keep readers coming back I have to find new ways of presenting the same information. Or, I have to find a fresh approach to a common problem: a good example is the ide...

  A reader posed an interesting, and important question to me a few weeks ago. She is wondering about retired couples whose desires aren't always in alignment. What can be done if one half of a couple wants to go in one direction, while the other person doesn't. She cited travel as a good example of this type of conflict. One person really has his or her heart set on seeing the world, or at least someplace farther away than the local shopping mall. The other is a homebody and resists travel requests. Why? Health issues, financial worries, fear of uncertainty,....there are all sorts of reasons why travel is a turnoff for someone.  This type of disagreement is important to resolve. Travel may be one obvious point of contention, but  probably not the only one. In a post a few weeks ago, I wrote that loosening the purse strings is difficult for many of us. Downsizing or moving to someplace with a different climate, eliminating or adding possessions,  redoing th...

Generally, I play it safe. You aren't going to to find me bungee-jumping, sky-diving, rock-climbing, even riding a big, fast roller coaster. Thunder Mountain at Disneyland is about my speed. Financially, my wife and I are conservative. Our possessions are quite mainstream. When we vacation we make standard choices like Hawaii or the Pacific Northwest.  Going to Tibet or the rain forest of the Amazon aren't really on our radar, though next year we will break out a bit with a river cruise in Europe. So, why a post about adding adventure to your life? Primarily, I need to listen to the message. Also, adventure has a much broader definition than is usually assigned to the word. It doesn't have to just involve physical activities. Adventure is what being alive is about. This subject also seems like a sensible follow up to the post based on two quotes that ran last month. Why Be Adventurous? What are the possible gains if you decide to embrace a more adventurous life? Sel...

Recently, I have been sorting through a few shelves of books in my office, deciding which ones to give away and which ones to re-read. While doing so, I stumbled across two quotes that prompted this post: " Simplify the material side of our lives and enrich the nonmaterial side" This is from well-known simplicity author,  Duane Elgin. Over the years I have owned and enjoyed several of his books.  Voluntary Simplicity  was one of my first exposures to the topic of cutting back and reducing consumption. First published over 35 years ago, he has reissued this important work several times. Even after several re-reading of this book, I continue to find something to inspire me. This quote is a good example. I haven't counted, but I would guess I have written at least 50 posts on the importance of focusing on the nonmaterial side of life during retirement. By the time we stop working, we have accumulated enough stuff to last for the rest of our life. Certainly, new clothes,...

First posted almost 6 years ago, it seems worthwhile bringing back for you. There is a story you may have heard about a giant circus elephant and how it was controlled. The animal was huge and very powerful. It could knock over a brick wall with it's trunk. But, in between performances all the massive beast had to keep it secure was a simple chain around its foot connected to a 12" wooden post hammered into the ground. Certainly the elephant could have torn the stake from the ground with one tug, but it never did. As a baby it was chained to the same post. Being small, no matter how hard it pulled the youngster could not free itself from the restraint. Obviously, as it grew in strength and size it could have yanked the chain free in an instant. But, the elephant had convinced itself the chain and post were unbreakable so it simply gave up trying. We all go through life being taught things that can limit our growth. We are told something that makes us doubt our p...

The end of a day: Is that it? If the title reminds you of a song by Peggy Lee, you are definitely a boomer retiree. In a rather bleak view of life, the lyrics suggest that if this is as good as it is going to get then let's dance and party before the final disappointment of death. During a time of upheavals in the late 1960s, this was a top 15 hit for Ms. Lee.  Why such a bleak title and introduction to this post? Take comfort, dear reader, the song's mood is not reflective of mine. I am not in the throes of despair. I do receive emails on a rather regular basis, however, that express at least some of this feeling about retirement.  There are three primary concerns: What did I do? I loved my job, I will run out of money, or my spouse is driving me crazy. I certainly understand these concerns. I flirted with similar ones after leaving the workforce 16 years ago. I didn't think I was ready financially, emotionally, or socially...pretty much a clean sweep of f...

Julia Cameron, author of The Artist’s Way talks about being a shadow artist. In her book, It's Never Too Late to Begin Again,  she says a shadow artist is someone who has creative urges or abilities and chooses a career that is close to the life they would like to have themselves, but are afraid to pursue. So, they settle for something in the "shadow" of their true heart's desire. A painter becomes a gallery owner, a playwright works in the front office of a theater company, or a photographer becomes an assistant to another photographer. Those folks satisfy their creative needs by being part of the world of art, but without the actual creation. For some reason the shadow artist idea popped into my mind when I was thinking about unsatisfied desires. Retirement is the time of life when we are often able to pursue something that has eluded us until now. Yet, for a host of reasons, we remain in the shadows of that dream, unable to take the steps necessary to fully realiz...

Followup: I will blame it on the eggnog and staying awake until 12:30 AM on New Year's Eve. Replacing the word  Retirement  with  Re-Vision  is a non-starter for this blog. I asked the question, knowing that you would tell me exactly what you thought and why. I depend on you, dear reader, to help me stay on track and keep my focus on what you expect on these pages. While a few comments voiced support for the idea of  re-vision  being a good replacement for retirement, the "No" votes were more persuasive. I think the word,  re-vision , might reappear on occasion as part of a blog post, but not become the official name of the blog, nor is it destined to become the new word for retirement.  There were several excellent suggestions, though, that you can expect to see appear in future posts.  So, back to the subject at hand: This is the time of year when those of us who live in the desert southwest come out to play. After 5 months of non-sto...

As I age (yes, even me) it is hard not to notice certain body parts aren't quite the same. Squatting down to pick up something from a bottom shelf is now accompanied by a few groans as my knees protest. Standing back up takes a focus on the goal of becoming vertical again without help. My energy level starts to run out before the day does, even with an afternoon nap. The barber politely doesn't mention the growing thin patch on the crown of my head as he uses brush and hair dryer to fluff things up a bit. The morning stiffness in my fingers goes away quickly enough, but it didn't even exist a few years ago. Clearly I am aging. Of course, all of us do so from the moment of our birth. But, until the later part of the 5th decade of my life I was able to ignore most of its effects. I used to have a nice career as a management consultant. Then I retired, so aging is what I do now.  What I want to do, is age well. A blog reader sent me an e-mail with a question that made m...

When I am asleep I am about 37. I have dreams of a younger man, accomplishing great things or having the normal young adult nightmares that affect us all. Then, I wake up and my body reminds me I am 67. Stiff fingers, painful knee joints and a need to stretch for a few minutes jolt me back to reality. A look in the mirror is always disappointing. So, my question is simple: How do I lose 30 years of my life between the time I fall asleep and the moment I wake again in the morning? This time travel seems to happen most nights. Collectively, I am losing centuries every several days. It is a psychological fact that most of us perceive of ourselves as 20-25 years younger than our chronological age. We know that isn't reality.  But, our mind allows us to create an image of self that has the potential to give us the energy and perception of the future that is rather rosey. Instead of us being the the final third of our life, we think we have all the time in the wo...

Color me surprised.  Last year over 12 million adult coloring books were sold in the United States. There are coloring books for adults in bookstores, craft shops, and on-line. There are adult coloring clubs, Facebook groups, and Instagram pages. Groups gather for community and conversation with coloring groups in most cities across the country. If this is a fad, it is a pretty healthy one.  Frankly, I was completely in the dark about adult coloring books, until a few month ago when my daughters showed me some of the beautiful art work they had created. I was given a few pages to try. While the results don't make me a Van Gogh, I was pleasantly surprised that they didn't look terrible. Of course, like paint-by-numbers, it is pretty hard to make serious mistakes when what you are doing is coloring in open spaces. But, choosing the colors that go together is, well, artistic! I did find it enjoyable to focus on the page and shut off all other thoughts for awhile.  ...