crylam

Over the past year or so something has begun to happen on Satisfying Retirement: people are leaving comments not only for me, but for others. A comment on a post triggers a reaction from another reader who wants to share his or her thoughts with the original commenter.  Suddenly, a conversation begins. A shared community  begins to develop. I couldn't be more pleased. This development is something not all blogs encounter. It only happens when readers sense a shared set of experiences with others. It only happens when there is a trust that comments will be treated with respect. And, it only happens when readers have been visiting the blog on a regular basis over many months, or even years. This short post is really just a way of saying thank you. Thank you for caring enough to interact with not only me, but others. Thank you for being constructive, supportive, and educational. Thank you for helping to encourage a sense of community, of conversations that add something to a...

My recent computer hacking problems have forced me to think about what I could live without. and what would diminish my life's satisfaction. Some things are essential to me, some to my happiness and sense of satisfaction. Others are a part of of daily life but I could certainly function without them. This list is by no means complete, but it might be a thought starter for you, too.   It would be very difficult  or very unpleasant to live without: My wife and family Could I physically survive without them? Yes. Would it turn my world upside down and remove a large share of what I feel makes my life meaningful? Absolutely. If things ever begin to unravel I want to have those most dear to me by my side.  Freedoms If I had been born someplace other than The United States or another country in the developed world my sense of what constitutes key freedoms would probably be very different. But, being born to a middle class family in 1949 in Ame...

First published a few years ago, the discussion about the fate of the American middle class and the growing economic inequality in this country has not gone away, in fact it has intensified. I'd welcome your thoughtful comment on this issue. There has been a lot written recently about the decline, if not outright impending disappearance, of the middle class in many countries around the world. The original premise was that hard work and perseverance would result in a comfortable lifestyle and a   satisfying retirement . That vision included decent retirement funds, health care coverage at an affordable cost, a home, a car or two in the garage, and enough money to send kids to college. It assumed that each generation's standard of living will be better than the one before. In reality, that picture began to go out of focus at least 15 years ago. The dot.com stock market crash of the late 1990's damaged the hopes and dreams of many. It exposed the true risks of...

Fifty Shades of Retirement ? Not even close. Sex always grabs attention, especially the concept of retirement and sex. Of course, with a blog title of satisfying retirement you might imagine there is a connection. Well, sorry to disappoint, but this post is going in a different direction. One of the major stumbling blocks to a successful retirement is how the two sexes react to not working. Lots of previous posts have dealt with some of the adjustments that both partners must make when one or both retire from daily employment. This time around I'd like to focus a bit closer on how men and women are quite different when each moves toward retirement or officially leaves the working world behind. Retirement and men: Various studies show that men tend to be overconfident about their investing and retirement planning skills. This helps explain why so many enter the last decade of work with nothing close to what will be needed. In this country the average person within 20...

Aging brings a new awareness of limitations. Physical and health-related issues are part of the reality of living. Just a few years ago, things we could do without much strain are more difficult. We must work harder to remain fit and energetic. At the same time, several aspects actually improve. In meaningful ways, our life can become richer and easier as we turn each page of the calendar. LIfe's experiences help us in very important ways. As we move through the last few days of the first month of a new year, let's look at some of the things that tend to get better as we age: 1. We are less concerned with comparing ourselves to others.  By now, we know ourselves well enough to stop constantly comparing ourselves to others. We know there are people who are better looking than us, have more money or fame than we do, are taller, or thinner, more athletic or smarter and there is nothing we can do to change those differences. Importantly, we care less about any of that as meas...

Maybe it was because I worked for myself for so many years. Maybe it was because I tried working for big corporations and found I didn't play well in a big sandbox. Maybe it is just part of my personality. Whatever the reason, I never had very many close friends.  My business as a consultant required lots of acquaintances: clients, industry contacts, friendly competitors, and suppliers. But, those were not the type of relationships that led to enduring friendship. Because I was on the road for many days each year, I never developed many close friendships on a social level at home, either. My wife will admit she wasn't much better. Unfortunately, I carried that situation into retirement. If Betty and I wanted to do something with another couple, we would scramble to think of who to invite. Usually, that meant we would involve family, or do things as just the two of us. One unexpected benefit of blogging was the start of several on-line, virtual, friendships. Regular r...

If given the chance I am not sure I would want to go back almost 30 years to give pointers to my 40 year old self. The rule of unintended consequences would might make such time travel a disaster. But, for purposes of this post, let's pretend it would be a good thing. Dear Bob, Experience is unteachable. It can only be gained by living and learning. If you will allow me to tell you what is to come in the next few decades of your life, I may be able to spare you a lot of wasted time, effort, and heartache.  I am not going to detail what happens with your career. If I do you might be tempted to change something and therefore miss both the highs and lows you will experience. So, just trust me, you do well and you will overcome some sizable bumps in the road. And, since you are reading this letter you know you won't die young. I won't tell you what is ahead in America or the world. Nor, will I make you a rich man by alerting you to inventions before they are reality, or tell ...

Relationships determine the success of your satisfying retirement . Humans are not built to be completely alone. Interaction with others of our species is essential to our mental , emotional, even physical health.  Assuming that is true, then there must be some important qualities or traits exhibited by one person toward another that keeps us healthy and happy. There must be some baseline of interpersonal behavior we could look for in others, and follow ourselves. Here is my list of the top five qualities that experience has taught me are crucial to a long lasting relationship, be it marriage, partnership, or even a meaningful friendship: 1. Empathy:  The ability to put yourself in someone else's shoes, to understand what motivates, disturbs, empowers, scares, and drives him is the only way to truly relate to that person's life. In a healthy relationship, one person should be able to empathize with what is concerning the other. This doesn't mean you must accept that line of...

We will pull into our driveway just about the time this post sees the light of day. After a journey of almost 5,000 miles and 49 days, we have had another memory-filled, relationship-building trip. We added 13 new states to the map on the side of the RV, bringing our total to 32 visited in four years.  The decision about where we go from here with the motorhome will take some time and thought. In the meantime, I hope you enjoy some pictures from the second half of the road trip. The Salt and Pepper Shaker Museum in Gatlinburg - 20,000 sets Bailey after her bath Can you find the dog? Ceiling of Chattanooga Choo Choo Station Chattanooga Aquariums Chattanooga Art Museum We still prefer printed maps, but notice the GPS Legend's Bar in Nashville..huge collection of unusual guitars 6 necks on this beauty! You meet some interesting folks at a bar Inside the massive gardens and water features at Opryland Hotel A 16 mile driving tour between the Union and Confederate lines The stunning...