crylam

One of the toughest things many of us face is dealing with our parents as they age. Watching someone you love decline is not pleasant. I will tell you my parents' story because it is probably rather typical, and the one I know best. As my mom and dad started struggling with older age issues I had to learn as I went along. Since I lived within 35 minutes of their home, I became the primary caregiver. My brothers lived quite far away. They did what they could with occasional visits, but the bulk of the responsibility fell on my wife and me. We were just fine with that role and enjoyed a strong loving relationship with mom and dad. In 2006, my parents had the foresight to move into a retirement community. Dad was 82 and mom was 79. At that point, both were in good physical and mental shape, certainly well enough to be allowed into the community. It offered independent and assisted living options as well as a nursing care center. They wanted to avoid the situation where ...

What if you eventually want to retire, just not now? You are not there yet. Maybe it is a savings and money issue. Maybe you enjoy your job and the stimulation it gives you. Maybe your responsibilities with your family must be front and center for now. Maybe retirement scares you a bit. That just makes you normal. For whatever reason, you want to remain in the workforce, but would like some suggestions on how to prepare for the day when you are ready. Here are some important concerns: A) Make Your Financial Projections:  Get a paper and pencil, spreadsheet program on your computer, or anything that will help you with the following: What is  your projected income  from now until you retire. Obviously, this is a guess. Your job might disappear tomorrow. But, based on your past situation, you should be able to make an educated guess of what you expect to make from now until you do retire.  What do you expect to receive from  Social Security?  Avoid the "i...

Is sunset the end of something or the beginning of something else? A few weeks ago comments left on the post, Saying Goodbye to The RV Lifestyle, prompted me to write this one. The questions centered on knowing when it is time to let go of something in one's life, when an attachment to something should be severed. When do we know it is time to let go of whatever it is that may be holding us back?  I thought those were very important queries to think about and worthy of some discussion. We are creatures of habit. Most of us are happy when our world is settled, and predictable. This doesn't mean we aren't active and involved, rather we have some anchors in our existence that are comforting. I would suggest that even those who travel a lot each year still need the security of a home base, a familiar place where they can refresh and recoup.  But, when is it time to let go of a part of our life that has been dependable up to now? How do we know when it is time to cut the cord ...

A growing trend among retirees is the desire to remain in one's home as long as possible. In fact, a recent study quoted by AARP shows 87% of those 65+ want to age in place for as long as it is safe. Even among those 10 years younger, 71% would opt to stay put. Familiarity and community ties are the biggest draws. Even so, the market for retirement communities remains strong,  such as Jimmy Buffett's new retirement community approach . Sun City communities and other planned offerings have adjusted to a more active lifestyle and the positives of providing care that includes nursing home facilities.  The ability to choose between staying home or moving to a retirement community or coop housing setup is a new development. In part, it has occurred because there are more options available to receive medical care in one's home. With nursing facility costs out of reach for many retirees, it is good news that other choices exist. For purposes of this post, let's assume you woul...

If given the chance I am not sure I would want to go back almost 30 years to give pointers to my 40 year old self. The rule of unintended consequences would might make such time travel a disaster. But, for purposes of this post, let's pretend it would be a good thing. Dear Bob, Experience is unteachable. It can only be gained by living and learning. If you will allow me to tell you what is to come in the next few decades of your life, I may be able to spare you a lot of wasted time, effort, and heartache.  I am not going to detail what happens with your career. If I do you might be tempted to change something and therefore miss both the highs and lows you will experience. So, just trust me, you do well and you will overcome some sizable bumps in the road. And, since you are reading this letter you know you won't die young. I won't tell you what is ahead in America or the world. Nor, will I make you a rich man by alerting you to inventions before they are reality, or tell ...

A previous guest post, Downsizing To a Forever Home , generated some interesting comments about where to retire: an urban setting, long time home in the suburbs, smaller town, or in a more rural setting. Author, Barbara Hammond and husband, Dave, moved from Philadelphia to the seaside town of Cape May, New Jersey. She says the couple have found the perfect place to put down roots. It has a busy, resort feel in the summer and a quiet, locals only vibe during colder weather. That post prompted a suggestion to ask some follow up questions about the benefits and pitfalls of each retirement choice. Betty and I gave serious thought last year to a move to downtown Phoenix. After 30 years in our suburban Scottsdale home we liked the idea of a more vibrant environment, public transportation, and being close to restaurants, theaters, museums, and sporting venues. The smaller housing options were what we thought we wanted, too.  Well, that wasn't our final choice. Being close to fam...