crylam

Which why to go? ....from my grandfather when I was 12 years old, my life would have been totally different. It is likely I would have not developed an intense interest in radio that led to a 40 year career. Without that decision I would have not been in a particular town to meet a particular woman who would become my wife.  The backstory is simple: at the age of twelve I had been selected to become a counselor in training at a YMCA camp an hour or so from my home. I was too young to have much authority, so my job was to help the 16 year old counselors manage the young boys in our dormitory, make sure they got enough sleep, made it to breakfast, and spent their two weeks having fun. Apparently, I was a rather "young" twelve. I didn't know how to motivate the younger kids. I allowed cliques to develop that targeted certain boys for bullying. Within four or five days I was homesick and wanted to leave. My parents suggested I give the experience another few days to see ...

I guess I shouldn't be surprised by much of anything anymore. An article in the New York Times a few weeks ago detailed one of the hottest new presentations on college campuses: "How to Fail."  These seminars are designed to confront something that too many college freshmen have never faced: not being the best in the room. Taking home a gold trophy for participation after a season of little league, never getting a grade lower than an A-, always having their wishes fulfilled, hovering helicopter parents protecting children from facing the reality of a world full of disappointment....these young adults don't know how to handle failure. Depression and dropout rates reflect the problems with a generation who spent life in a bubble. Colleges have discovered that the problem is serious enough that these students need help in accepting less than perfection from themselves. They have to learn that a B or C isn't a mark of a loser. Not getting a class they want, or having ...

The post,  from a few weeks ago,  Being a Penny Pincher Even if You Don't Have To , had some excellent thoughts on being frugal without being cheap. Saving money is all about balance: cutting back where you can to be able to afford things you want. Retirement brings financial caution into focus, but it is also a time of life when we appreciate the difference between needs and wants, instant gratification and wise delays. Several of the comments talked about being aware of our "footprint," those things we do that can have a negative impact on the earth's soil, water, and air. Being diligent about recycling, a focus on how much food is thrown away, composting, using rainwater for gardens, cutting back to one car - all are good for our budgets and our earthly home.  That raised some questions for me about what small steps we can take to help be more friendly to the environment: the air we breathe and the water we drink, the landfills that we fill with our tras...

Voluntary simplicity, frugality, simple living, down-sizing....all have their genesis in trying to cut expenses. Less harm to the environment is another motivator, but the financial aspects are usually key.  Certainly, for many of us, spending less money, living within or below our means is necessary. A faltering, or failed pension from work, a job loss at the wrong time, unexpected medical, housing, or caregiving expenses can force our hand. For others, money isn't the overriding concern. Sure, we worry the money will run out before we do, and we can't predict some future financial disaster. But, overall, we are in good shape. There is something else that motivates us to reduce. Interestingly, being in the first or second camp doesn't seem to be a solid predictor of our urge to cut expenses, pinch pennies, and find a less expensive way to accomplish a goal. Maybe it is a gene many of us carry. Maybe it is lesson we learned from a parent. Or, a rough patch in our past has l...

Most of us are junkies for this. We thrive on at least one fix a day to stay happy. We have had this need since we were toddlers.  We are junkies for it. We like being told good things about who we are. We need the strokes.  We need to be told someone else cares, or noticed us. This force is the power of affirmation . Receiving it from others feels good. It validates much of what we do. The word, a ffirmation, means to state that something is true. In this context it means to praise someone for something. It tells you someone else noticed something positive they want to bring to your attention.  Affirmation fulfills our basic need to feel relevant, useful, and needed. So, if this is a deep seated need we all have then why is it too rare in most of our lives, most of the time? Good question.  I've given this topic some extra thought since my small group from our church had a lively discussion on the subject. All of us admitted we are quick to receive complim...

Have you ever seen the movie, The Curious Case  of Benjamin Button? T he lead character, played by Brad Pitt, gets physically younger while the rest of the world ages.  Eventually, it does not turn out well for him. He dies as an infant but with old age dementia.  In real life, there are actually some advantages to getting physically older, which is good since we don't have much choice. Here are five that came to mind: 1). We don't care nearly as much about how we look in a bathing suit (or birthday suit) . When we were younger, the effort expended to drop some weight before summer began was a common occurrence. Time spent jogging or at the gym become a fixed part of our schedule. Looking younger than our years was important. Face creams and lotions are a multi-billion dollar business.  While the health aspects of staying in shape remain important until we shuffle off our mortal coils, the reason changes. We are more concerned with our interior health than our e...

Is sunset the end of something or the beginning of something else? A few weeks ago comments left on the post, Saying Goodbye to The RV Lifestyle, prompted me to write this one. The questions centered on knowing when it is time to let go of something in one's life, when an attachment to something should be severed. When do we know it is time to let go of whatever it is that may be holding us back?  I thought those were very important queries to think about and worthy of some discussion. We are creatures of habit. Most of us are happy when our world is settled, and predictable. This doesn't mean we aren't active and involved, rather we have some anchors in our existence that are comforting. I would suggest that even those who travel a lot each year still need the security of a home base, a familiar place where they can refresh and recoup.  But, when is it time to let go of a part of our life that has been dependable up to now? How do we know when it is time to cut the cord ...

Would you like to start a fight, or at least a heated discussion? Would you like to anger half the people in a crowd while mollifying the other 50%? Then talk about politics. Along with religion, there is no way to trigger emotion and passion faster than this subject.  Applying the usual definition, politics are "the activities associated with the governance of a country or other area, especially the debate or conflict among individuals or parties having or hoping to achieve power." Today, in our society, politics is about the conflict,  staking out turf and defending it to the verbal death, or something even more literally. It is usually loaded with sarcasm, fixed belief systems, and distortion of the opposition's position. Can I suggest a different way to think about politics? Can I offer an alternative that allows us to engage instead of enrage ? Can I propose a way forward that may have more positive results? Yes? Then, please think of the subject of politics a...

For the majority of us the last effects of the 2008-09 recession are in our rear view mirror.  Unemployment rates are low and inflation seems to be under control. Interest rates on investments remain miserable, but decent returns are available with a little bit of risk. Housing prices have rebounded in most part of the country. That allowed Betty and me to move just about two years ago to be closer to our grandkids. We have been in the new house just long enough that my thoughts to turn to what maintenance should be considered, now and in the future. Owning a house means owning the problems that come with that property.  Delayed maintenance never got this bad Unfortunately, over the years I have become the master of delayed maintenance. If something isn't dangerous, leaking, or unusable, I find it much too easy to wait.   We know that something will require fixing but decide it can wait a while longer. That toilet is more difficult to flush, but it still works. The f...

Well, not a true outsider. I do have a Satisfying Retirement and personal Facebook page and a Twitter account. Primarily, I use them to promote this blog. I will comment on someone else's postings if I feel particularly engaged by something, but not very often. I don't use LinkedIn or Pinterest. I have heard of Snapchat but know nothing about it. Instagram is not part of my life. Even Google Plus isn't on my radar.  So, compared to a lot of folks I am a low level social media participant.  Interestingly, the demographic with the largest growth in Internet use over the past half dozen years are those in the 65+ age group. Daily Internet use jumped 71%, with an accompanying 34% increase in the use of social media.  Staying in touch with family, relatives, or reconnecting with friends are key motivators. Social media can help reduce feelings of isolation or being out of step in a world that is increasingly technological in orientation. Recently, I was contac...

A blog you will find listed on the right sidebar is  Sightings Over Sixty . Tom Sightings writes well and often has a take on a subject that makes me think or chuckle. He also writes regularly for US News & World Report's web site .  While on my 7 week RV trip, I asked Tom if he would write a guest post about decluttering, a perennially popular topic. Here are his thoughts. Like many retirees, our household is downsizing. This summer we sold our house in the suburbs, and at the end of July we moved into a one-bedroom condominium. Six months ago we had a basement full of old boxes and an attic full of memorabilia. We had overflowing kitchen cabinets, closets bulging with old clothes, bookcases bursting with books and tabletops littered with little trinkets and tchotchkes. But now everything has been packed away and hauled out the door. We moved one truckload of boxes and furniture into our condo, and another truckload was sent to storage -- to await the time when we settle ...

First written almost 5 years ago, these thoughts are worth rerunning for those who weren't reading Satisfying Retirement back then (roughly 95% of you!) There are folks who manage to leave work much earlier, but tell most people you stopped full time work at 52 and they will assume you won the lottery.  I didn't win anything, and neither do you. In fact, far from being financially set when I retired I played with the financial numbers constantly to make sure I hadn't made some horrible mistake. I didn't have nearly enough to live the lifestyle I thought I wanted, but there was enough to make it. Even so,  I took a large leap of faith. The point of this post is to detail the investment/retirement financial approach I took. It may not make sense for you. But, then again maybe it will. Now, one strong caution: if you didn't make a decent start toward retirement in your younger years, then, this probably won't work in your situatio...

Color me surprised.  Last year over 12 million adult coloring books were sold in the United States. There are coloring books for adults in bookstores, craft shops, and on-line. There are adult coloring clubs, Facebook groups, and Instagram pages. Groups gather for community and conversation with coloring groups in most cities across the country. If this is a fad, it is a pretty healthy one.  Frankly, I was completely in the dark about adult coloring books, until a few month ago when my daughters showed me some of the beautiful art work they had created. I was given a few pages to try. While the results don't make me a Van Gogh, I was pleasantly surprised that they didn't look terrible. Of course, like paint-by-numbers, it is pretty hard to make serious mistakes when what you are doing is coloring in open spaces. But, choosing the colors that go together is, well, artistic! I did find it enjoyable to focus on the page and shut off all other thoughts for awhile.  ...